Why Travel?

I am wrapping up a month long journey across Europe with my wife and teenage daughters, the eldest of whom is about to leave for college when we get home. It’s our second big family epic like this. We did 10 weeks abroad when they were 8 and 10 and we planned this one as nice framing for our lives as some chapters come to a close and new ones begin. Tomorrow I get to (finally) drive the autobahn. The next day we go home, which I know we’re all looking forward to in many, many ways. 

I picked up a cold about two weeks ago. Sore throat, cough - it hasn’t been enough to take me out of the daily action of museums and city tours, but it has certainly been an omnipresent drag. The 16 year old now has it too, which has impacted sleeping arrangements as we make an effort to keep mom and the 18 year old healthy. 

I’ve worn every piece of clothing I’ve packed, done some laundry, and worn them all a few times more. The print out of train tickets and hotel confirmations in my hand bag has the folded crumpled feel of a battle map some lieutenant dragged through the jungle. Items have gone missing and then miraculously reappeared a city or two later. We now have a new very crappy large suitcase full of souvenirs and whatnot that we frantically picked up at a 2 euro store along the way. 

I’ve bought things I didn’t need, and I’ve paid too much for things I did. With the best of intent we often put in the effort to use public transportation instead of ride shares, only to realize it’s actually costing more with 4 people paying for each trip on demand instead of getting some type of week pass up front. I’m sure a solo traveler with more time and flexibility on their hands can come up with all sorts of hacks to do this far cheaper than I, but believe me when I say sojourning across Europe with a wife and two teenage girls is not in any financial planners savings portfolio.

We are definitely not on vacation. We are traveling. 

Why on earth do we do this? A few years ago we went to a resort in Costa Rica called “Si Como No?” where they will serve you spaghetti at a swim up bar at the pool. Why did we choose to ride backwards in the only seats without windows in a second class train car surrounded by sneezing toddlers as our preferred way to spend some of the precious few weeks of summer I have left with my almost adult children?

It certainly hasn’t always been easy. There’s been two times we’ve seriously considered coming home early. There’s been many times where at least one of us was moody to the point of walking on their own. There’s been countless debates over what we should eat or how transportation works. Everyone’s patience has been tested, and compromise is a daily exercise. I’m so tired of lager, at one point I braved a 6 story mall just to get a west coast IPA. It tasted like liquid gold to me at the time, but the gnats flying around the taps would have been a deal breaker at any of the dozens of breweries within walking distance of my house. 

So why do this?

Well while the lows I’ve described are real, and in the moment they are hard, the highs are pretty high. 

The street art in every city we’ve visited is amazing. New York City may have invented graffiti but the Europeans have taken the idea of public space and free art to a whole different level. The views out the train window (when we get one) are amazing. Rolling hills punctuated by streams and ancient castles. I’ve been all across America and while it’s gorgeous too, you won’t find the same views there. The cathedrals are inspiring. I’m a spiritual person who has serious reservations about organized religion, but step into any cathedral that took 400 years for medieval peasants to build and you’ll instantly understand where faith in the church comes from. The museums are amazing. Modern art typically means anything from about 1750 on. Let that sink in, the entire history of the USA is modern art to the average European. The architecture is jaw dropping. If you’re going to pick one city, goto Prague. The splendor and history is out of this world. You understand what inspired Disney to build his parks in America. The bullet holes in any of the limited original stonework in Berlin or Dresden makes my hair tingle every time I touch them. You can find countless pictures and stories across the internet for the things you’ll see and the tours you should take, all of which will leave you a more educated person who has a broader perspective about what has gone on in this world we live in. You don’t have to limit yourself to one paragraph of sightseeing highlights like I just did. Get out there and do this stuff. 

All of this is great, but to me it’s the exercise program, it’s not the results. You have to take the city tours, you have to goto the museums, you have to try food you don’t understand because you are traveling. Going to a fancy hotel and sitting by the pool is fine, but you can do that without changing hemispheres and languages. You have to go put in the work of a traveler, but what you get out of it is something deeper. 

For me, it is the little moments that are important from this type of traveling. In the states I’m always half listening to every conversation around me, my mind has to know what’s going on. In Europe, I can’t understand more than a few words in any language and I’m stuck with my own thoughts and my faith that everything is going to work out. In the US I more or less understand how any airport works, I’ve flown through most of them and they tend to follow the same system. In Europe I’m not even sure what I’m looking at when I stare at a departures monitor. 

Why did the one AirBNB we stayed at have bidets in different rooms from the toilet? Are the people who live here cowboy hopping down the hall with dirty butts, or is it true that the French use bidets for cleaning their feet more than their bottoms? Why do you not tip in France, but you do tip 10-15% to everyone in Czech Republic, and you tip waiters but not cabs in Germany? Why do Germans in Frankfurt literally NEVER jay walk, but the people in Strasbourg which is half French half German jay walk constantly?  Why do elevators have -1 and -2 instead of B or P1, P2? WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY DO THESE PEOPLE PAY SO MUCH FOR WATER?

This is the kind of stuff that I find really interesting and at some level deeply useful. I feel like I’m a more empathetic person for having to figure out all these weird nuances and idiosyncrasies of each local country and culture. Understanding some of the things that are universal (every 2 year old loves peekaboo, every culture appreciates when you learn the word for “excuse me”) is huge. Being comfortable that this train is stopping when it's not supposed to even though the announcement was 7 minutes of German and 20 seconds of garbled English, makes me feel like I’m going to be a more patient person when dealing with frustrating people in the states. The experience my wife has worryingly asking me “what’s going on?” only to see my genuine bewildered shrug, builds the confidence we both benefit from when wrestling with more complicated issues at home that we also can’t control as much as we may want to. Maybe getting quarantined with my 16 year old is a rare opportunity to have some deep bed time conversations I just wouldn’t get in the states. Maybe a 2 week head cold is a tiny price to pay for that unique one on one time before sleep. 

I find that the big picture strategic choices and challenges I’m facing in life become very clear very quickly after a few weeks of travel. Maybe it is the constant mental energy spent at just figuring out which bathroom I’m supposed to go to. Maybe it is seeing what people universally love vs. what each culture does a different way. I can’t tell you exactly why, but each time I’ve had an epic journey I come back with a much clearer sense of purpose and clearer goal for the next 5-10 years of my life. 

Travel teaches you that all people do share some basic truths. You don’t need to speak the same language to help a lone mother wrangle her stroller onto a train, it’s always the right thing to do. The smile you get in return needs no translation. Travel also teaches you that the seemingly smallest differences in how people live can end up feeling like dramatic changes. You don’t need to be Captain Kirk flying the Star Ship Enterprise to far flung planets across our galaxy to see the rich variety of the human experience. You just need to get somewhere you don’t speak the language and do your best to figure out how to get a meal after 3pm on a national holiday. 

I’m very excited to get to the comforts of home where things are organized in a way I fully understand. I know in just a few weeks I'll forget what the low moments felt like at the time, and when I look at my pictures, and I'll remember great times. Even the challenges will become fun stories to tell at thanksgiving.

I am deeply thankful for the flexibility and blessings life has afforded me to be able to truly travel from time to time. See you again soon Europe!